Bring On the Burqas

Earlier this month, the citizens of Minnesota's 5th Congressional District elected Keith Ellison to be their Representative, and in doing so sent the first Muslim to Congress. This has caused some of the wiggier elements of America's right wing to go completely nuts. Good Lord, you'd think Ellison demanded that Nancy Pelosi be required to wear a burqa on the House floor. But he is actually quite moderate and not at all like the hate-crazed, suicide-bombing, honor-killing stereotype stamped into our national psyche.

But to the real fruitcakes, Islam itself is the enemy. And any American Muslims are traitors.

For example, take Glenn Beck, a O'Reilly-esque right-wing blowhard given a nightly talk show on CNN Headline News to counter the America-haters who otherwise dominate the network's talking-head lineup. (What's that? There aren't any? Oh well, maybe it'll draw some viewers from Fox.) When Beck had Ellison on his show, he showed off his inability to tell one Muslim from another, challenging the Representative-elect to "prove to me that you are not working with our enemies."

Now Dennis Prager, a columnist who moonlights as the religious right's token Jew, has gotten into the act as well. In his latest column for the TownHall website, he worked himself into a fine snit over Ellison's request to take his ceremonial oath of office on a copy of the Koran instead of the Bible. This request should be denied, he froths, "because the act undermines American civilization," and wonders what would happen if a racist asks to take the oath on Hitler's Mein Kampf. (Why not ask Trent Lott?) And if that weren't enough, he darkly warns that Ellison's request "will embolden Islamic extremists and make new ones."

Prager and Beck, and others like them, expose themselves as pure idiots whose bigoted rantings should embarrass thinking Americans everywhere. All Muslims are not the enemy, no matter what they think.

Way to Support the Troops, George

President Bush may talk the talk about "supporting the troops," but let's face it, it's just an act. He doesn't really seem to give a damn about the men and women he sent over to fight and die in the desert for his grand delusions.

Earlier this month, Bush hosted a White House reception for newly-elected members of Congress. It just so happens that James Webb, who defeated George "Macaca" Allen in Virginia's Senatorial election, has a son serving in Iraq as a lance corporal in the Marines. Bush asked Webb how his son was doing, and Webb responded by saying he wanted his son to come home.

"I didn't ask you that," Bush snapped back testily. "I asked how he's doing."

Webb naturally took exception to this display of pure callousness and later told a friend he wanted to "slug" the President, but refrained from doing so. I can think of quite a few parents who would not have been so restrained.

Especially those whose kids will never come home.

Way to go, George.

What Mission?

During the 2000 election campaign, then-Governor Bush made a talking point out of deriding President Clinton's (in)famous habit of constantly changing his positions as the situation warranted, calling it "waffling." He promised that as President, he would stick with it no matter what.

Well, he was right about that.

President Bush, the man who never ever ever changes his mind, has forcefully responded to the Iraqi civil war and the spectacle of American men and women caught in the crossfire as Sunnis and Shi'ites slaughter each other by the thousands. "There's one thing I'm not going to do," he talked tough in Latvia. "I'm not going to pull our troops off the battlefield before the mission is complete."

Which begs the question: what exactly is "the mission?" Frankly, that depends on which day it is.

Once upon a time, it was Saddam Hussein's gigantic WMD stockpiles. When it became painfully clear that such stockpiles did not in fact exist, the purpose of the invasion changed into Saddam's connections with al Qaeda. Nope, those didn't exist either. From there, the definition of "the mission" has wandered all over the place, from building democracy to defeating terrorism to controlling Iraq's oil - the last one being an extremely rare example of Bush actually being honest about something. Now, it has settled into this vague, amorphous mass of "finishing the job" and "completing the mission."

The simple truth appears to be that Bush et al have no idea what to do in Iraq other than staying the course. Except it's no longer called "staying the course." If our supposed leaders really have no clue what we're doing there anymore, it's a pretty good bet that it's time to get out. Now.

Gee, Ya Think?

Someone over at News Corporation - chairman Rupert Murdoch, for one - should have realized a long time ago that this would end badly. Very badly.

HarperCollins, a publishing company owned by Murdoch, announced that they would publish If I Did It, by former football star/actor/double murderer O.J. Simpson. And Fox, a television network also owned by Murdoch, announced that they would air a two-part interview billed as his "confession."

Yes, O.J. Simpson, You know, the guy whose "Trial of the Century" for killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, his ex-wife and her friend, captivated America during the mid-nineties. The guy who to this day scours the golf courses of Florida looking for "the real killers." That O.J. Simpson.

Where most Americans see someone who literally got away with murder, HarperCollins publisher Judith Regan saw dollar signs. More dollar signs, in fact, because she was the person who would have interviewed Simpson for the Fox special. Indeed, the entire spectacle reeked of greed, ratings and publicity.

Not only that, there are reports that News Corporation attempted to buy the Brown family's silence with millions of dollars in hush money. And the company is reportedly attempting to sell the book to another publisher.

Granted, bad taste has never stopped Murdoch before. After all, his Fox network brought us such televised abominations as:

• Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?, featuring a "millionaire" with restraining orders filed against him by numerous ex-girlfriends
• The Swan, in which the "winner" of a beauty pageant whose contestants underwent cosmetic surgery was served with divorce papers on live TV
• Who's Your Daddy?, where various men tried to con a woman adopted at birth into thinking he was her real birth father

But something about this one struck a public nerve. It was so crass, so tacky, so tasteless, that America responded with one gigantic retch.

For once, Murdoch listened. The TV special will not be aired. The book will not be published, although a couple of already-shipped copies are reportedly for sale on eBay.

Maybe it was because we're sick unto death of O.J. smugly insisting that he's innocent, all the while smirking at the thought there are some rubes out there who fall for it. Maybe it's the reported $3 million price tag, surely a low point in checkbook journalism. And maybe it was the sheer cheek of tabloid TV and tabloid publishing attempting to get away with ever more outrageous publicity stunts.

But whatever the reason, the American people have spoken, loudly and plainly. And good on us for it.

In His Defense, He Didn't Meet Any Vietnamese Citizens During the War, Either

"Well, if you'd been part of the President's motorcade as we've shuttled back and forth over the course of the day...the President has been doing a lot of waving and getting a lot of waving and smiles... So I think the President has a very good sense and will go back to the United States and tell the American people that these are a people that are very open to and solicitous of good relations with the United States."

-- National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley on President Bush, who was kept far away from average Vietnamese during his blink-and-you-miss-it trip to Vietnam