God, Head of Security

People from Appalachian states like Kentucky have an image of being ignorant, inbred yahoos who substitute pithy slogans for actual thinking, while people who live in these states wonder why they can't shake that image.

Well, maybe it's because of things like Chapter 39G, Section 10, Paragraph 2(a) of the Kentucky Revised Statutes. Section 10 in effect presents the job description of the state Homeland Security director, and includes such duties as coordinating with the federal Department of Homeland Security to protect the state against various threats.

So far so good. But before all that mundane stuff comes a paragraph detailing the director's prime duty:

Publicize the findings of the General Assembly stressing the dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth by including the provisions of KRS 39A.285(3) in its agency training and educational materials. The executive director shall also be responsible for prominently displaying a permanent plaque at the entrance to the state's Emergency Operations Center stating the text of KRS 39A.285(3);

In case you're wondering, Chapter 39A, Section 285, Paragraph 3 reads as follows:

The safety and security of the Commonwealth cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God as set forth in the public speeches and proclamations of American Presidents, including Abraham Lincoln's historic March 30, 1863, Presidential Proclamation urging Americans to pray and fast during one of the most dangerous hours in American history, and the text of President John F. Kennedy's November 22, 1963, national security speech which concluded: "For as was written long ago: 'Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.' "

Yes, the main job of the state Homeland Security director, even before he gets to all that stuff about, you know, security, is to praise God.

Proving that some people in the state government rise above the prevailing gene pool, neither the department's website nor its mission statement give the legally required credit to the Almighty. State Rep. Tom Riner, who inserted the God Clause back in 2002, is having a hissy fit over this minor oversight.

Perhaps the state government expects a tent revival to ward off terrorists. What next? Will all state residents receive crosses, garlic and holy water? (And do crosses even work to ward off Muslims anyway?)

This is why people think states like Kentucky are filled with ignorant hillbillies.